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But the idea of making a list of animals good to eat, that was very popular, and so animals to be eaten were selected by demand on special elections (the eating of political animals was for a short while very popular, until new laws were placed that prohibited the eating of an elected official, except senators, but no one likes to eat old meat). The idea was heralded as awesome and it was copied by the pagan animals, then they killed the joowish lions for believing the silly notion that there is one god and than that god is human. The joowish lions solved the famine crisis by creating their own religion based on kosher in which a special list was created to dictate which animals are ok to eat without being punished by their own divine self. The result was the force feeding of tofu to lions. Some even think that animism was actually created by PETA just to push their vegetarian agenda on the Animal Kingdom. This dilemma was really problematic for many carnivores who refused to eat anything but meat and so they were forced to go hungry for years, some suspected that this was actually a herbivore conspiracy to starve meat-eaters so they could take over the government and start their Herbivore Empire. However, this was a problem because that meant that all animals were sacred and that to eat them was tantamount to heresy. The First Animalia Empire Collapses (4,748 B.C.)Īs they are not kosher (and the cholesterol, you are just going to get fat)Īnimals were at first worshipers of a pagan religion called animism in which they believed animals were gods, so they worship each other as gods and they had no problem in developing a big ego in the process.Emperor Aslan meets Lion Jesus, converts into Animal Christianity (4,750 B.C.).Emperor Aslan forms the first Dogmatic Guard as his personal bodyguards (4,950 B.C.).Fido II, Pharaoh of Canine, is paraded on the streets of the Empire as the Emperor's pet (4,972 B.C.).Emperor Aslan conquers Kingdom of Canine (5,000 B.C.).Emperor Aslan takes all the girls as his personal concubines (5,620 B.C.) King Bugs Bunny gives Emperor Aslan bunny girls as tribute.Emperor Aslan defeats armies from the Easter Island, King Bugs Bunny signs peace treaty (5,624 B.C.).General Sylvester the Kat dies during the battle for Canary Island (5,625 B.C.).Coyote's treatise, "Beep Beep" (5,649 B.C.) Scholar and Heretic, Road Runner, writes counter argument to Wile E.Coyote, writes treatise on "Natural Law and Falling Anvils" (5,650 B.C.) King Daffy Duck commits suicide (5,671 B.C.).King Daffy Duck of the Avia Kingdom surrenders to Emperor Aslan, the Avia Kingdom becomes a province of the Empire (5,672 B.C.).Expansion of the Canary Province (5,999 B.C.).Emperor Aslan invades the Canary Island (6,000 B.C.).Pharaoh of Canine paraded as a pet on the Empire's streets
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According to legend Emperor Aslan met with a joowish lion that is believed to be a Lion Jesus that helped to convert Aslan into Animal Christianity. Ever since then dogs have become very useful as soldiers of the Empire.Īfter the fall of Canine, Emperor Aslan decided to conquer the Lions of Judah to get their Lion Joowish gold to bankroll the Empire's agenda of conquest. It was called the Animalia Empire and it was ruled by the First Emperor Lionel Aslan I.Įmperor Aslan single handedly built the Animalia Empire and he conquered the lands that were not occupied by humans, making him a very powerful animal.Įmperor Aslan first conquered the Kingdom of Canine in 5,000 B.C., the caninenite population was enslaved and subjugated to serve the Empire as conscripts. The First Animal Kingdom was founded six thousand years ago on the mythical land of Africa.